Wednesday, December 22, 2010


I have devised a new home security plan.

The concept is simple, affordable in the long term, and will easily have you the talk of the neighbourhood.

It is unfortunately a logistical nightmare and may draw the ire of the local bylaw enforcement officers (though I assure you they do not have a law under which to exact punishment).

So what, you ask, is my ingenious, all purpose, wonder-alarm?


My cousin Karli is travelling to Africa in March and has graciously agreed to procure the needed instruments to amass said army, I expect to begin beta trials of my new idea in about June, possibly a little later depending on our training schedule.

I anticipate it will take municipal level policy makers at least a year to enact legislation explicitly prohibiting hippos kept in the home, which will give me a solid year of quality, entertaining home protection services.

and of course when the lawmakers do indeed catch up with me, everyone knows there is little out there to rival the delicacy of Hippo-Steaks!


  1. Are you stoned on IV benadryl again?!?!

  2. Ummmmm.......wondering too. It sounds like it..... Either that or we are on the start of morphine again......